Top 5 Tuesday || Characters I Wouldn’t Take Into a Haunted House

It’s almost Halloween, and today’s prompt, set by Shanah @ Bionic Bookworm,  is perfect for it! Plus, I feel like I have ALL the answers, so it’s gonna be great.

So, who’s on the list?

1. Safiya fon Hasstrel from the Witchlands Series by Susan Dennard

Look, I love Safi. I love that she takes life by the reins and does whatever the hell she wants, and if Windwitch is anything to go by, I love the way her character is evolving. She’s tough, she’s determined, she makes the best horrible puns, BUT.

That girl feels punch first, ask questions never, and I pity the haunted house worker who scares her, because that’s probably a good recipe for a broken nose.

 

2. Dineas from Rosemarked by Livia Blackburne

Rosemarked was fantastic, and I have Umbertouched waiting on my Kindle for ARC reviewing purposes, so that means I definitely like Dineas enough to go back and read his POV again. That said, he is a GRUMP 90% of the time, and haunted houses are supposed to be a good time. Dineas is a good soldier, good survivor, but he is definitely not a good time. Sorry, Dineas.

 

3. Sydney Clarke (and Dol the Great Dane) from the Villains Series by VE Schwab

I couldn’t put her through it. I couldn’t do it. She’s only 13 in Vicious, and even though she’s 18 in Vengeful and has seen all kinds of shit, I couldn’t do it. The poor girl has gone through so much, including dying, and I just want her to be able to enjoy hot chocolate with her oddball adoptive dads and their very large and very sweet dog.

And obviously, Dol and Sydney are a package deal, and who could put a big sweetheart like that dog through a haunted house???

 

4. Evie O’Neill from The Diviners Series by Libba Bray

Don’t get me wrong, I love Evie. She’s a super complex character who does bad things as often as she does something right, and she’s fascinating to read about.

That said, she would probably be super drunk going into a haunted house, and I’m not a big fan of herding drunk friends around. It’s very stressful, and Evie is an impulsive drunk in a lot of ways, which makes it even MORE stressful. No, thank you.

5. Locke Lamora from the Gentleman Bastard Sequence by Scott Lynch

So. This one is because there is no possible way to go anywhere with Locke Lamora without landing deep in hot water, usually of the kind that involves state secrets, magic, cults, high level thievery, warfare, or some combination of the above. Sometimes all of the above, honestly. And that’s so much. Is it likely that those things would be in a haunted house? No. Is it a known law of the universe that this would somehow happen anyway because no matter where Locke goes, weird and complicated things follow? YES.

 

6. A BONUS: ME!

YEP. You read that right. I will not go into a haunted house. I won’t do it. Not ever. I am a chicken, one of the highest order, so on top of not being a huge Halloween fan, I’m also a scaredy-cat and refuse to ever enter a haunted house. IT JUST WON’T HAPPEN.

But I will watch ghost hunting shows late at night, like a fool. It’s not my finest or smartest trait, but here we are.

 

Happy almost Halloween! Would you go into a haunted house? Who would you take with you, and who would you leave behind (or stay behind with)?